


A Fool's Dream

by droptable



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Blood, Post-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-24 06:43:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20701646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/droptable/pseuds/droptable
Summary: Dimitri had dreamed of losing her before, but never like this. There was always a body to cradle, a vision to reach for. Not... nothing. Not one moment where she was there and gone in the next.Even if they did somehow both make it out of this snowstorm alive, this was sure to be fuel for a new kind of nightmare to haunt him.





	A Fool's Dream

  
Like a bad omen, they had fought about it a few days before.

Though fighting was really too strong a word for it. The Professor's head was too cool for it, and Dimitri kept too tight a watch on himself these days for anything to escape through the cracks.

For the most part, at least.

"Anything else on the agenda?" Mercedes asked, head still in her notes, not really expecting an answer. They'd gone through everything twice already.

Dimitri took a gathering breath. It was now or never, he supposed.

"There is something I would like to bring up," he said.

Eyes went to him all around the tables. Dimitri turned his eye to their Professor. His jaw tightened and his fists convulsed involuntarily at the sight of the painful looking bruise on her face, spreading from her jaw and all the way to the corner of one bright eye.

The battle that had produced it had been a less than graceful affair; a hectic jumble through narrow town streets to chase down bandits, the enemy numbers far greater than they'd expected. Dimitri had been forced to run down a group that had splintered from the others, while Byleth's group had headed for the thick of it.

He hadn't been there when she'd taken the hit. It had stopped him cold after he'd found her after the battle. He'd called to her and Byleth had turned to him from Mercedes's healing with half her face a mess of blood, a river of red running over her neck and down the front of her armor.

The memory still set his teeth on edge.

"I'd like to suggest a different deployment strategy for our next mission," Dimitri continued.

He could have blinked and missed it, but there was a quick tightening in Byleth's placid expression that suggested she had some idea of what was coming. Dimitri had thought he'd done a good job of masking the rushing noise and the narrowing of the world when he'd seen all that blood on her. He'd inquired (relatively) calmly after her health at the time, withdrawing out of her way to quiet himself as they'd returned to Garreg Mach.

He wanted... he wanted many fanciful things. To bundle her up inside several mattresses, to tie her to his side and never let her out his sight again. More foolish urges to add to the pile of things he had to push down and ignore for the good of all.

Perhaps Dedue had noticed a change in his mood, giving him more space than usual over the last few days. Perhaps Mercedes suspected something as well, a sympathetic smile and a tilt of her head when he'd inquired after the Professor's health for the third time on the same afternoon.

"Different how?" Byleth asked now.

Dimitri had had another night of less than optimal sleep as he'd tried to put together the best way to word what he needed. He'd tested circuitous suggestions ("Wouldn't it be better for morale if he, as King-to-be, would be the one to lead their charges more often?"). He'd also tried out half-truths and misdirects ("Perhaps you should make more use of your skill with magic, Professor") . Anything at all that that might make her listen.

In the end, running himself half-mad with guesswork, the only thing that had remained was that the truth had always served him best.

"I think it's too great a risk for you to keep taking point, Professor," Dimitri said plainly.

Everyone's attention went from Dimitri to Byleth. Her eyes were narrowing dangerously.

Gilbert came to Dimitri's rescue, "The thought had crossed my mind as well."

Just as swiftly, Gilbert moved on to betrayal. "Placing our leaders at the forefront of so many battles is a great risk, even if it comes with gain in morale."

Dimitri sighed. "I didn't mean myself. If I were to get injured, I could sit out a few battles. The Professor is our chief strategist. She cannot."

"Oh, that makes sense," Mercedes remarked, sounding surprised for some reason.

Byleth lifted her hands onto the table. "I need firsthand knowledge of the way the battle is turning to be an efficient strategist."

"Surely it wouldn't be a great downgrade if you were part of the second wave, with more allies to watch your back," Dimitri argued.

Byleth's fingertips pressed into the table, but she remained silent. Displeased, but not completely refuting his point, perhaps.

"In addition, I could stand to take the front of the charge more often," Dimitri continued, pushing it. "I believe you have been diverting me out of the thick of the action, Professor."

The first signs of a frown were beginning to form on Byleth's brow. "Only when it's an unnecessary risk."

"What's unnecessary is you getting hurt like that," Dimitri said, voice louder than he'd meant it to be.

Someone coughed into the silence that followed.

Byleth tore her gaze from him and directed her attention to the rest of the room. "Sometimes that can't be helped. Thank you, everyone. I do see your point. I will think on it."

She rose, signaling for others to do the same. Many released tense breaths as they did. Byleth glanced at Dimitri with one last frown before she left the room.

Dimitri released a breath of his own once she was gone. That... certainly could have gone smoother. He'd lost control for a moment, just as he'd feared. Still, if there was the slightest chance he wouldn't have to soon see her blood again, it would be worth it.

Any lingering awkwardness was left under the stampede of work that assailed them the following week. A supply line had been cut off by a beast that had made itself a nest along a mountain path leading through to Faerghus. Equipment had to be patched together from odds and ends and a week that had promised to be quiet was cut short by the need to be underway as soon as they could.

Their progression climbed most of the way up the mountain in the safe cocoon of horse drawn carriages, but even there the growing cold eventually and inevitably found its way through every crack and crevice and onto skin.

Even Dimitri, who often found a little cold to be invigorating, sat with his great cloak wrapped securely about himself. He'd ridden ahead for a while, but the cold had eventually driven him to join the Professor in her carriage. She braved the cold especially boldly for someone who had to be unused to it, her face pressed to the lattice of a window as she peered at the passing scenery.

"There are buildings down there," she said. The road was passing close to the precipice, affording them a view of a valley below.

Dimitri knew what those buildings had to be without looking. He'd seen all too many places like it in his five years of wandering the land. They held only ghosts for company.

"Long abandoned, I'm afraid," he said. "Though this route must remain open, the war has driven everyone thin. Smaller villages end up trampled underfoot."

Byleth's mouth pressed into a thin line. They both fell silent. The carriage rattled and groaned on the unsteady road. A cold gust of wind pushed inside and reached an unarmored spot on Dimitri's side.

"Seems the wind is picking up," he said. "We'll have to make quick work of it."

The beast of the pass had dug in too high and too deep into difficult terrain for Dimitri to make good on his word. The beast was fast, its claws and wings much more suited to the mountainous environment of jagged stone and ice than humans with frozen fingers and makeshift equipment. Their troops ended up scattered along the snowy mountainside, but at least the battle was won with minimal injury.

The rising wind had turned into a storm as they'd fought. A freezing gale was pushing into every chink in Dimitri's armor, strong enough now to make his eyes water. Dimitri's foot caught a patch of ice and he had to do a very unkingly windmill to keep himself upright.

"Watch your footing," he called, turning to make sure Byleth was alright - just to watch in horror as she lost her footing and went into a roll down a snowy slope.

Dimitri was running after her before he knew it, shouts lost to the rising wind. A moment hung in the air. He caught her panicked gaze just before she went sailing over the edge.

Dimitri fell and skidded after her, knowing that he would not have wanted to stop before the edge even had he had the time.

The fall was short, but long enough that air and sense were knocked right out of him as Dimitri smacked into the mountainside. He fell against an incline, still steep, and continued skidding for a good while. Sharp things tore at his skin and found their way into the openings in his armor.

The world had grown very white and blurry when he stopped, the wind almost a constant scream in his ear. There was something red in the snow underneath and around him when Dimitri maneuvered himself to one elbow. He lifted his head with some effort, scanning the alien terrain with a desperate eye.

"Professor!" he shouted, to no answer. A sheer cliff of black stone loomed overhead, almost like something ready to fall on his head. It was impossible for the others to see down without coming over the edge themselves.

A long slope blanketed with snow led out from underneath the more sheer drop. It had rolled Dimitri into a barren valley of blinding white snow and jagged black stone.

Dimitri gathered himself up to his knees with a series of grunts. Byleth was nowhere he could see, but at least that wasn't all bad. It meant the blood in the snow was only his own.

"Professor!" he called again. The sound was swallowed by the wind. Nothing answered.

He had dreamed of losing her before, but never like this. There was always a body to cradle, a vision to reach for. Not... nothing. Not one moment where she was there and gone in the next. Even if they did somehow both make it out of this valley alive, this was sure to be fuel for a new kind of nightmare to haunt him.

Dimitri swayed to his feet. The wind tore at his cape and cut deep. He had to find the Professor fast, but there was no sign of her anywhere. The terrain was uneven, perhaps untrod by any human before him. Any of the small hills and rises of stone and snow around him could have hidden her or her... body.

Dimitri looked back up to where he had fallen. Though faint, there was a disturbance of snow where he had slid down the slope - and there, further on, another narrower trail. He nearly tripped in the hurry to get his sluggish limbs moving toward the end of it.

Somehow Dimitri managed to keep moving through knee high snow and the ill sense that something had gone wrong inside of him in the fall. He did stumble and fall to his knees when he finally spotted Byleth's still form, already half-buried in new snow.

She was on her side, back to him. The wind tossed her hair and coat, but she wasn't moving. Dimitri's mouth worked, but fear stole the sound. What if he called and she didn't answer? Dimitri dragged himself forward, inch by inch, until he could reach for her shoulder with a shaking hand.

Byleth's eyes were closed when he rolled her gently to her back. Dimitri held his breath, then released it with thanks to all the saints in memory at the sight of her chest still rising and falling. The skin on her forehead was slightly bloodied from the fall, but overall she seemed far less harmed than he.

"Professor?" Dimitri managed to whisper at last. He nudged her by her shoulder. Byleth didn't move.

Dimitri grit his teeth and put his feet back under himself. He gathered Byleth's senseless form into his arms, shielding her as best he could from the whipping maelstrom of wind and ice. Fear and cold were trying to freeze him in place, but he needed to keep his wits about him. Byleth needed to be out of the cold as soon as possible.

Something protested, something gave, and Dimitri could feel a warm trickle of blood spill over his hip as he rose. He ignored it, gathered Byleth closer and began to walk, madly scanning their surroundings for anything other than the cold stone and snow.

He dragged the both of them onward for what felt like an eternity. Even as his eye grew more and more accustomed to the shadows and shapes in a world of black and white, the snowstorm pushed with an ever growing threat against his back. The slope next to them grew steeper as he walked, until it was just a wall of ice and stone boxing them in.

Dimitri's limbs were stiff with cold, his clothes clinging and wet with sweat and blood. Every step was more faltering. He was running out of time.

No doubt it was Byleth that the Goddess took pity on at last. Dimitri almost fell straight into their salvation. He'd pressed close to the dark and craggy stone wall to keep Byleth better shielded from the wind when suddenly the wall gave away.

Dimitri stopped and blinked at the lightless opening - a crevice just large enough to enclose the both of them.

Byleth was still loose in his burning arms. He turned and folded himself over her and backed into the small cavern. The stone was sharp against his back, but it was no matter. The wind couldn't get in. He sat Byleth in his lap and wrapped his cloak about the both of them with unsteady hand.

He couldn't breathe for a long moment until he was sure the slight motion of Byleth's breathing was still there. He pulled her close.

"Why won't you wake?" he whispered against her, sounding younger than he had in years.

The storm outside became a wall of white. Dimitri stopped feeling his feet at some point, but the discomfort was distant. Time itself seemed distant. Unmoving, or perhaps even folding back in on itself; again and again his consciousness seemed to fade away and then snap back with blinding fear that the Professor wouldn't be there in his arms anymore.

But each time she remained, warm and breathing - but far too motionless.

Dimitri was somewhere far away again when one of Byleth's breaths became deeper and she finally stirred. It pulled him back immediately.

"Thank the Goddess," Dimitri breathed against her neck. "You wouldn't wake. I didn't know what to do."

Her head turned toward him slightly. "Dimitri? What happened?"

Byleth tried to move. Dimitri tightened his arms around her. She could be hurt. She should be careful.

Boxed in, Byleth could only reach one hand back for him under the cloak. Dimitri swallowed his breath when her fingers brushed against something in his side that hurt. Byleth tensed and moved her weight off of him. Dimitri didn't let her get far, laying his forehead against her shoulder.

"I thought I could smell blood." Her voice was unsteady. "Dimitri, I need to take a look at you."

With effort, he turned his head so that he could look her in the eye. It was difficult to focus on anything, but her eyes were bright and he could make out deep worry in the crease of her brow.

"Please," she pleaded.

Disobeying her had always taken much more effort than what he now had power for. Dimitri dropped one arm and leant against the stones at his back. He held the cloak still over her back with one hand as Byleth turned his way.

Dimitri watched her try to peer at him, but the light outside had already begun to dim. There was little to see against the dark armor he favored.

Byleth's frown grew deeper. She lifted a hand, laying it lightly over his heart. She closed her eyes and before Dimitri could think to protest, he felt a warm push of light in his veins. It coursed through him, pushing sensation back into long forgotten limb and wound, pulling a choked gasp out of his throat.

"D-don't," he tried to protest, grasping at the hand on his chest. "You need to save your strength."

"Shush," Byleth whispered. More warmth and light flooded from her hand and into him. He didn't have the power to stop her. Dimitri let his own hand fall away. It became a little easier to breathe.

Byleth lowered her hand and fixed him with a frown. "It's too dark to see. Are you still bleeding somewhere?"

Something warm and wet clung to the cloth over his hip. "No."

Byleth stared him down. "Don't lie to me, Dimitri. Please."

"It's nothing," he said, trying to keep his expression stiller this time. He reached his other arm back around her, wrapping her again fully inside the warmth of his cloak. "I just haven't moved in a while."

Byleth turned after a final searching look. She kept her weight still off of him.

"What happened?" she asked. "The others?"

"We're the only ones who fell."

She watched the white wall of wind outside for a silent moment. "And we're stuck in a storm."

Dimitri chuckled weakly. "One of must be terribly unlucky."

Byleth gave him a bittersweet smile over her shoulder. "It's definitely you."

Dimitri's head sunk against her shoulder again. "I won't disagree."

Byleth turned back to the storm.

"The others can't reach us, can they?"

"No. Not without going the long way around."

"And that's..."

"At least a day."

Byleth held her breath, then released it in a long stream.

"More in this storm," Dimitri said.

"I see. Our options?"

Her tone took Dimitri straight back to a classroom. "Will you grade me on my answer?"

She tensed. "You must have hit your head. That was actually funny."

Dimitri's lips twitched.

Their options were to wait for rescue or to eventually brave the frozen world outside.

"And it looks like the choice has been made for us, for now," Byleth observed, watching the merciless storm.

Dimitri nodded. It was a choice that bought him time. He wasn't sure how well he would be able to move, and for now he could still keep it hidden. "Rest, Professor. You'll need your strength either way."

Something hurt and everywhere was cold, but Byleth was warm, soft and awake at last in Dimitri's arms. All of it called back a memory as he dozed. Something from years ago, a time that seemed so much simpler in hindsight.

Fighting back to back as student and professor, turning as his enemy fell unmoving - his arm shooting out at the flash of a blade, pushing her aside.

He didn't notice any pain at first, even after the pirate had fallen. There was just a sense that his sleeve was hanging lower than usual. Then the Professor's eyes had traveled to his arm and her mouth had opened in a small gasp. She had gently grasped his arm (making his pulse pick up) and Dimitri had finally noticed the bloody tear in his sleeve near his shoulder.

"It's worse than it looks," he'd explained, "I can barely feel it."

She'd reached out to cover the cut with her hand. He'd seen echoes of worry on her features before, but there had been something different about this one that he never had managed to place.

Light had shone between her fingers. Her magic had always felt different. Like sparks skittering across his skin. Unfocused, but warm and alive.

"Thank you," he'd said as the light faded.

The Professor had peeked into the tear in his sleeve, then slid in a finger to softly touch his skin. Dimitri had jolted at the touch and cursed himself. What kind of child felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach when she'd essentially just poked him in the arm?

She had misinterpreted his shock, thank the Goddess. "Rhea has been teaching me, but I have a lot to learn. It still hurts?"

"N-no. I was just surprised. Surprised that it did not hurt at all, actually. You must have talent at this, as well as everything else."

She had released him and crossed her arms. "Flattery won't save you. That was a reckless move, Dimitri."

"I'm sorry," he'd said automatically, "but he was about to attack you."

"I know." Her expression had gentled. "It's my job to keep us both safe."

"I'm sorry," he'd repeated. "Honestly, it was just instinct. I didn't have time to think."

Byleth had given him a searching look before she had uncrossed her arms and nodded, leading them onward. He'd followed and had been sure, even then, that even with all the time in the world to think better, he would have still done the same.

The dream-memory faded as the Byleth of the present shifted in his arms. If he'd known all those years ago that he'd one day have the Professor in his arms like this... but then, everything was just a little too cloudy and cold to properly enjoy her proximity.

That was probably a very bad sign.

Byleth took his hand, pulling Dimitri out of his daze.

"You're freezing," she said.

She was the one holding his cape around the two of them now. Dimitri couldn't remember dropping his hands.

"Not much for it," he said, then tried to swallow past the unexpected roughness of his voice. Byleth took a worried look over her shoulder.

Then her eyes widened. "Buildings."

"Buildings?"

She turned a determined gaze to the outside world. "We passed buildings earlier. They were down here in the valley."

Dawn had passed at some recent point. The storm outside had lessened. The wind had died down, but snow still fell thick and heavy.

"They've probably been abandoned for years," Dimitri said.

"Still, we'll be able to make a fire. Maybe there will even be something else we can use," Byleth argued.

She'd made up her mind and Dimitri couldn't argue. Her hands were a fraction of their usual warmth. They did have to move.

Byleth slipped out of his arms, carefully stepping out of their cave. She began shivering immediately, but seemed to not favor any limbs. Dimitri send wordless thanks out to the Goddess again. It seemed Byleth had been much luckier in the fall than he.

Dimitri's first attempt at motion felt all kinds of wrong. He wasn't sure he'd ever felt this stiff - for a moment he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to move at all. It would have been a fitting fate, he supposed, to die at the bottom of some unknown cliff just at the cusp of regaining his will to live.

But he had to get himself moving for the Professor's sake if nothing else. Dimitri managed to rise to one knee and then laboriously to his feet. Byleth wouldn't leave him here. This lull in the storm felt all too temporary. They wouldn't last long enough for rescue to reach them without better shelter.

The going wasn't easy. Treacherously soft snow hid arid earth, stones as sharp as razors and slippery ice. They had to pick their way carefully, testing almost every step before giving it their full weight.

The valley widened out and they had to leave the shelter of a wall at their side, but luckily the wind remained faint as morning light rolled into day.

They came to a rise and Byleth stopped for a moment to peer ahead. Dimitri waited behind her. Something dripped into the snow by his feet. _Oh_. He was still bleeding. Strange that the wound hadn't yet closed with healing.

Dimitri pushed snow over the red droplets with the edge of his boot. It didn't pain him overmuch. It was more important that they keep moving.

They soon passed into a sparse wood. A fire had swept through at some point and most of the trees were dead, some burned completely black.

"Hopefully the village is in better shape," Byleth remarked. An agreeing hum was all Dimitri could manage. The walk had taken it out of him.

They let out twin sighs of relief as the first building came to view, though it was little more than half a burned wall. Many of the buildings of the small hamlet had been burned down, but not all. Some still had roofs and even all four walls.

Byleth led them to one that seemed still in decent shape, its door still attached. It took three rams of Byleth's shoulder before it finally gave way enough for them to wedge their way inside.

"You were right," Byleth said, peering around in dim space. "No-one's been here for a while."

Dimitri bowed to enter through the low doorway. It was a commoner's house, a single room with a floor of dirt covered with patches of straw. There was a stone fireplace on the far end. The furniture was made up of a large straw-mattress bed, a wooden table that had crumbled off of half it's legs and two rickety chairs. Byleth grabbed one of the chairs and kicked it apart, tossing the pieces into the fireplace.

She stepped back and held out a determined hand. Somehow the fireplace survived her fireball and they had the beginning of an almost merry fire.

Dimitri's legs felt unsteady. He held his breath through the pain and lowered himself into the surviving chair. It creaked ominously and he was too large for it to sit comfortably, but it did manage to hold his weight.

Byleth passed him and sat gingerly on the straw mattress bed. She patted the rough linen covering it with a wary eye.

"No rats."

"I suppose we're lucky anything is left here at all."

Byleth nodded, absentmindedly brushing at the dusty fabric. The little hut was small enough that the warmth of the fire began to spread even as they sat there for mere moments.

"I'll take a look around," Byleth said, rising. "We'll need more firewood. Perhaps there will be a pot or pan in one of the houses for water."

"I'll come with you."

Dimitri tried to rise as well, but something tore at his attempt. He had to breathe very carefully for a moment to keep down the choking noises that threatened to spill from his throat.

Byleth's calculating eyes were trained on the snowy world outside and he succeeded in escaping her notice.

"It's fine," she said. "We're alone. There are no prints, even in the older snow. Stay. Warm yourself."

"Wait." Dimitri levered himself up with gritted teeth. Perhaps he really couldn't go with her, but he was damned if there wasn't something he could do.

Byleth did notice his difficulty this time, a furrow of obvious worry drifting onto her brow. Dimitri stepped before her and hurried to unclasp the catches that held his cape in place.

"The fire will keep me warm," he explained as he draped the thing about her shoulders.

He did manage to suppress the chuckle, but it was impossible not to smile. Byleth was swamped in the thing. The end of his cape pooled around her feet and her hands seemed so small where they sunk into the fur.

Some of the worry smoothed from her face at his smile. "I'll be quick," she promised.

Byleth shrugged the cape higher over her shoulders and bunched up fabric in her hands to hike up the hem. Dimitri chortled at the sight and she threw one last quick smile over her shoulder before she disappeared through the crack in door.

Dimitri spent a while watching that door. He was vaguely aware of his knees buckling. The world turned splotchy, then dark and then it left him altogether.

* * *

  
Dimitri woke to warmth and a distant sense that someone was calling his name.

He blinked wearily into awareness. Someone was sitting next to him, cradling his face. Byleth? Her eyes seemed red.

"What's wrong?" Dimitri tried to ask, but all that came out was an slurred mumble.

"You idiot," Byleth whispered. Her breath was ragged and she was pressing a pale hand against her heart. A tear fell onto Dimitri's chin. He tried to reach for her, but his arm wasn't obeying his commands.

Byleth took a harsh breath and squeezed her eyes shut. Another tear slipped out as she did. She reached over his body, to the side that had been bleeding. He felt the same warmth buzz against his skin that had woken him. Only this time it came with a flood of pain that made him gasp for breath. It wasn't really Byleth that was hurting him, he'd just gone far enough to stop feeling a few things, apparently.

"Don't..." he managed to grind out.

"Shut up," Byleth hissed. Warmth pressed into Dimitri again. It became easier to see. Firelight was dancing on rough-hewn ceiling beams. A smell of dust and earth was close. The ground was hard and cold against his back.

Byleth opened her eyes. Her lips were trembling. There was a pale cast and a press of exhaustion in her face. The signs of magic running low.

"You were cold," she sobbed. "It was down to a second. Maybe less. I-I didn't know if I could..."

Dimitri's arm finally obeyed him. He tried to reach for the trail of tears on her face, but Byleth grabbed the arm and pushed it back down.

"You told me it was nothing!" she snapped, eyes full of captivating fire.

Dimitri stared, dumbfounded. "I did think it was."

Byleth scrubbed at her face. Dimitri tried to rise to one elbow, but a choking pain froze him halfway.

Byleth made a soggy noise and looked at his side. "Something's stopping your wound from closing, but we can't leave you down here."

She helped him up and they struggled their way onto the suspicious mattress. Byleth helped Dimitri out of his armor with shaking but determined hands. When the pieces been put aside, Dimitri fell back with a groan and tried not to think about just how many nameless creatures he was running out of their home.

Byleth looked Dimitri over with a critical eye. She sat by his hip and carefully peeled back the hem of his dark shirt, exposing skin that had been painted red with blood.

She peeled his shirt up further, over the wound. Dimitri lifted his head. He could just make out the dark jagged edge of a stone, lodged into the skin above his right hip. It looked bad.

"Oh," he said, letting his head fall back with a thump.

Byleth was silent. Dimitri heard a snap and metal sliding against leather. They'd lost their weapons, but her small dagger had remained with her.

It shook a little in her hand. "I don't want to do this," she whispered.

Dimitri would have preferred she didn't have to, either, for her sake. She still cared for his wretched self for some reason. It would cause her pain to put him out of his misery, even if it was for mercy.

"I'll do it," he said.

"Whatever you're thinking, you're way off," she said, words snapping with anger. "I'm going to dig it out. I have to, before I can heal you for good."

She raised her other hand and a small flame danced alive on top of it. She held the metal of the blade to the flames, tilting it to heat every angle.

The anger in her bright eyes was breathtaking when she turned to him. "Are you ready? Do you need to bite down on something?"

Dimitri swallowed. He pressed his eye shut. "No. I'm ready... thank you."

He set his teeth together. One of Byleth's hands touched the skin close to the wound, making Dimitri flinch a little.

"I'm... I'm going to have to do it now," she said, voice trembling terribly.

"That is fine."

For a while, she didn't. Her breath whooshed in an out while she gathered herself. Then Dimitri felt the hot edge against his skin.

"Ready," Byleth said.

Dimitri wasn't able to down a choked noise of pain when the blade cut in. Byleth whimpered as well, but didn't still her hand.

It didn't take her long, but the pain made Dimitri lose sense of time for a while. He focused on breathing, on keeping down the cries and gasps that threatened to escape and distract Byleth from her work.

Soon enough, the pressure became lesser and something thunked against the distant wall. With the absence of the stone, a warm stream of blood flowed freely and readily over Dimitri's hip and stomach.

"No no no," Byleth was whispering feverishly. The light pressure of her hands was back on his skin and then there was light pressing down and through into him.

The pain lessened, the flow of blood stopped. Dimitri dared to open his eye again only to see Byleth squeeze hers shut. She took a quick breath and more healing flooded into Dimitri. Byleth gasped raggedly as the light faded.

"Professor, stop. You did it."

She shook her head, trying to take another trembling breath of concentration, hands outstretched over him again. Dimitri took them into his own.

"Byleth, stop."

She opened her eyes, a quick look over his face and then her eyes were glued to the now closed wound.

"I'm sorry," Dimitri said. "I wasn't thinking. I just... if only one of us could survive, it should be you."

It was a belated rationalization of the desperate instinct that moved him before he could think whenever he saw her hurt, but she didn't need to know that.

"That makes no sense," Byleth said tonelessly.

"Of course it does," Dimitri said, thoughts whirring. "There is a line of succession for the throne, even if it is not perhaps the clearest at the moment. If I fall, there would be others to take my place."

He continued, "But you, you're... irreplaceable." To him. "As our tactician. Our leader. Our hope."

"There's no point to any of this without you. You _idiot_."

Dimitri found he couldn't argue against the vehemence of her tone. He smoothed his thumbs against the backs of Byleth's hands.

Byleth swallowed, some of her shaking abating at last. "Are you hurt anywhere else?" she asked.

"I..." Dimitri began. The scowl Byleth turned on him froze the denial in his throat.

"I don't know. I don't think so, but I don't really know," Dimitri admitted meekly. "I lost feeling before."

Byleth's jaw was tight. "You shouldn't move unless you have to. Not yet. I'm too drained to keep healing you. The wound could still tear internally."

"I don't feel much pain anymore," Dimitri said, not trying to deny her words, only trying to alleviate her worry. "Not that I don't feel nothing, but I do honestly feel much improved."

"Still." She gave him an uncertain glance. "I need to check. I can't cut open your shirt. You need it against the cold."

There was something intent in her gaze that did something strange to Dimitri's insides. "Then, what..."

Byleth untangled her hands from his. She raised the hem of his shirt. "Sorry."

She averted her eyes and slid her hand underneath it. Dimitri swallowed a gasp and froze at the touch.

"Bear with me for a moment," Byleth said. Dimitri made a garbled sound of complete confusion.

He stared with a wide and unbelieving eye at Byleth's reddening profile while her hand began to carefully move over his skin. Her hand slid over the planes of his stomach and up his side, lingering for a breath on old scars, gentling over the rise of his ribs.

Her delicate fingers slid to his chest and Dimitri whimpered. Byleth apologized, probably, but he had trouble hearing anything over the rushing in his ears.

She stopped and took a fleeting look at him, not able to hold his gaze. "Dimitri? Did something hurt?"

"No, it..." felt a little too good. "It's fine."

Her hand traveled still over his other side before she removed it from underneath his shirt. She smoothed his shirt back into place while clearing her throat.

"Can you feel anything hurting on your back?" Byleth asked.

Dimitri shook his head.

Byleth reached over and brushed hair out of his face with a gentle hand, fingers exploring briefly over his scalp. She loosened the collar of his shirt and peered at his neck.

She held Dimitri's gaze for a breath, then began to turn toward his lower body.

Dimitri grabbed her hand in a panic. "That--It's fine. I'm fine. I haven't felt pain anywhere else."

She looked him in the eye, measuring his words. Even as she did, her hand turned in his, fingers curling to hold it back. Her thumb slid to rest on his wrist.

She let their hands rest in her lap and took a trembling breath. "Your heart's beating."

Dimitri smoothed his thumb over the back of her hand again. "I'm sorry that I frightened you."

Byleth squeezed his hand tight, then let go with a long breath. "I found a pot. We should be able to boil some water."

She rose and fixed him with a tired scowl. "Don't move."

Dimitri tried an apologetic smile. "As you command."

Byleth left the hut. Dimitri stared at the ceiling. She returned with his cape, the aforementioned pot and and armful of firewood. She set the pot and firewood by the door and came to Dimitri's side. She shook out snow from the cape and spread the it over him.

The cape was cold. Byleth hadn't been wearing it when he'd woken before. Had she dropped it somewhere in a hurry?

"Did you hear me fall?"

"Something like that," she said tightly. "I'll melt some snow for drinking. I'll take another look around later."

The day passed agonizingly slowly. Byleth took short trips out of the hut, always returning with a slight rush and a held breath that she released at the sight of Dimitri turning his eyes to her from the bed. She carried in stacks of firewood, pots and cups, and finally an armful of jars. She gave Dimitri a triumphant smile as she unloaded them to the floor.

"Jam."

"Jam?"

"We won't starve," she explained. Dimitri laughed a little at her enthusiasm.

The wind began to pick up again as the day wore on. After a meal of hot water and jam - which by Byleth's face Dimitri was lucky not to taste - she healed him again and finally allowed Dimitri to carefully move about. The wound really didn't pain him much, though he did his best to move slowly and carefully under Byleth's watchful eye.

He had to admit she'd been right to worry. Just standing left him strangely exhausted and drenched with cold sweat. He had to stick to necessities alone and return to the bed much faster than he would have liked.

That unsteady feeling grew worse as night fell. Dimitri closed his eyes to an early dusk and opened them in fire-lit darkness. The straw dipped as Byleth sat by him. The wind outside howled with a noise he almost mistook for a voice. The room wavered.

"I think I may be running a fever," he admitted to her.

She touched the backs of her fingers to his temple. Her brows pressed together for a moment. "It will pass. Rest."

Dimitri's eye drifted shut. He felt more shifting by his side. When he opened his eye again, it was to the sight of Byleth laying by him. The peasant's bed had been made to fit an entire family. It was wide enough that they didn't have to be too scandalously pressed together anywhere.

"Sorry," she said. "But I need to stay and keep watch over you."

He hadn't wanted her to go anywhere. "I'd rather you rest as well."

"I will," she promised. Dimitri closed his eye still under her watchful gaze.

Sometimes his dreams had a taste. Probably a twisted version and not the real taste of blood, but convincing enough when he was choking on it. A thick burning layer full in his throat, fire and iron spearing his tongue.

And it wasn't ever his own. The reprieve of death was never available in his nightmares.

The world was cold and full of colorless light. He knew then with empty finality that the blood was hers. He couldn't find her. He called her title, he called her name, he called in inhuman wordless terror.

He still shivered with cold, but the white world turned to a soft darkness. Then Byleth was there and safe, looking down at him with warm light dancing in her eyes.

The haze of dreaming pressed at Dimitri's head. Ah, he'd dreamed this too. So many times.

In these dreams, he sometimes lacked better sense. Sometimes he dared.

As he did now. He pushed her down and reversed their positions. The world spun with them. Byleth gave a small yelp of surprise as she fell against the mattress, her eyes wide and questioning up at him. Dimitri leant over her and onto one elbow, settling half his weight on her. His free hand sought out the swell of Byleth's hip, fingers curving over it.

She felt much more solid than usual. Much better. Perhaps that vague awareness was why he didn't dare to go for her lips like he yearned. Instead, he tilted his head to the underside of her jaw and pressed his mouth to the soft skin there.

Byleth sucked in a breath. Her hands gripped his arms and her head tilted to allow him. He sought out her pulse and opened his lips against it, wanting to feel every quiver of motion. Byleth's throat moved as she swallowed, sending a thrill down through Dimitri's core.

"It's never been this good before," he sighed against her skin.

Byleth stilled. "Before?"

"When I dream," he murmured, moving upward to press his mouth closer to her ear.

Byleth's grip tightened against his arms. "Are you dreaming now?"

Dimitri drew back a hair's breadth. The haze of an untrue world remained, but it now came with a bad feeling. "Aren't I?"

Byleth's hands returned him to his back, gentle but insistent. Dimitri fell back with a faint noise of complaint.

Byleth smiled, somehow wistful. "Close your eyes. Time to dream of something else."

"Don't - oh," he tried to mumble. Byleth laid her hand over his good eye and smoothed it shut. The hand then moved up, over his brow to brush over his hair. The sensation sent sluggish waves over Dimitri's body. A current pulling him under, but the waters weren't dark and were full of something warm instead.

"I'll be here," she promised.

Dimitri slept. When he woke again it was to a fire running low and the light of day filtering through a crack in the door.

He had one blissful moment of ignorance as he blinked at the room. His head still ached, but the fever seemed gone. He wasn't shivering with cold anymore.

Anymore? When had he...? Panic froze every muscle. No, of course he hadn't been dreaming. The world wasn't that kind.

As if called, Byleth returned to the hut. Dimitri's gaze snapped to her, despite an overwhelming desire to be swallowed whole by that moldy bed and to never subject her to his presence again. Her nose was rosy from the cold and the redness was now spreading to her cheeks.

She lifted her chin in defiance of it all and came to sit on the bed. "How are you feeling?"

He searched her face desperately for any sign that he could be mistaken.

"I don't suppose it's possible I just calmly slept through the night?" he asked.

"No," she said bluntly, a blush the only sign that she wasn't as completely composed as she appeared. "You were having a nightmare. I woke you up and you kissed my neck."

Dimitri's face burned. He gripped a fistful of the bed hard enough that his knuckles cracked. "I'm - I'm so sorry, Professor. No words can - no words can ever be enough to apologize."

Byleth watched him. "You had a high fever. You thought you were dreaming."

Dimitri couldn't bear her gaze. He dragged himself to one elbow, sitting up to address Byleth with a bowed head. "It's no excuse. You of all people should not have to be subject to my lack of control. Any of my - my urges toward..."

Not able to continue, he just listened to her breathing. Somehow Byleth was still there, still turned toward him by some miracle, hands overlaid calmly in her lap.

"What urges?" she asked.

Dimitri took a hissing breath. He'd silently begged for her not to ask, but the ignominy of explaining himself was the least of what he deserved.

"My urges toward you," he confessed.

Byleth's hands twitched in her lap. She didn't say anything. At length, one hand rose and traveled to one of his own. Her other hand joined it and she began to lift his hand toward herself. Byleth brought their joined hands up to her face and pressed a light kiss against Dimitri's knuckles.

The surprised struck Dimitri dumb. Something beat with frantic rhythm inside his chest and against his temples, no way of knowing if it ought to be called pleasure or pain.

Byleth turned his hand over. She kissed a scar on his palm, then pressed her lips finally to his wrist, where his pulse had to be hammering madly against her lips.

"The only thing I can blame you for is being hasty," she explained, lowering their hands to lay together in her lap. She lifted her eyes to him and smiled, brilliant and brave.

Dimitri's throat worked. He was leaning into her before he knew it, but Byleth raised one hand and placed it against his chest.

"No more until you've recovered," she said.

Dimitri desperately cleared his throat and tried to find his voice. "What if I promise to?"

Her smile twitched with amusement, but the hand stayed firm. "No. Prove it."

She pushed him back down and Dimitri fell with a whump. He hoped, foolishly, that she would follow, but of course Byleth only rose from the bed.

Hope whispered in Dimitri's chest as she watched him with gentle eyes. She cleared her throat and dusted her hands together.

"Now, I think I saw bottles under some rubble yesterday, but it was getting too dark. Hopefully I can still find them under the snow."

"You shouldn't go alone," Dimitri said uncertainly, confused to be having such a normal conversation. "The rubble could collapse on you. Or from under you."

"I'll manage," she said - then paused, a heated and significant glance his way. "Stay. Be good."

And she was gone before he knew it.

Waiting with only the faint crackle of a fire was one of the most difficult things Dimitri had had to bear in a good while. He tried to listen for any smallest sound should Byleth call or need anything. In the meanwhile, his thoughts chased one another in whirling circles.

There had to be some way in which he'd misunderstood. Or she had. It couldn't be real, either way. Shouldn't be. Surely he couldn't allow it for himself, at the very least.

Byleth returned with more firewood just as he was levering himself to sit again. Her smile made everything else go quiet.

"Need any help?" she asked.

"No. I promise I'm being careful."

She hesitated for a breath, and then was gone again. Apart from a slight weakness and a headache that came and went, Dimitri felt almost normal. He went to the door and watched Byleth disappear inside a large hut with half its roof missing.

Mostly to busy himself, he packed snow inside one of the pots and set it by the fire to melt. Attempting sleep was impossible, but he made himself sit back down on the itchy bed nonetheless. In between moments of confusion he could feel a faint flicker of... hope, he supposed. A flutter of anticipation when he heard her footsteps approach again at last.

She had a brown bottle of something unidentifiable in one hand as she returned.

"You did find it," he said, trying not fidget.

"Mm. We'll see if it's still drinkable." She placed it on the table and walked to the bed. Dimitri's pulse picked up.

Byleth shrugged out of her snowy coat and sat down by him. She tried his forehead with cool fingers.

Some tension finally released from her shoulders. "You don't feel feverish anymore."

"I really don't," he said. "Your hands are cooler than usual. You should stay inside for a while. I've boiled some water."

Byleth glanced at the pot by the fire.

Dimitri took a breath and tried to be bold. "I was careful. I didn't overexert myself while you were gone. I-I was good."

He stumbled on the last words. Byleth's expression went from surprise to gentle amusement.

"I see," she said. For a moment she just smiled, then she scooted closer. "You do look less pale."

He had to be bright red. Still, it seemed the reward was his anyway. Byleth leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, near the corner of his mouth.

She began to pull back. "Maybe if--"

Dimitri couldn't take it. He turned and tilted his head to catch her in a proper kiss before she could retreat.

He'd been a fool to be content with dreams. The sensation of Byleth sighing and surrendering against him was overwhelming. She was so warm and so much more alive than ever in his imagination.

And she was just as greedy as he. She opened her mouth against his and he eagerly followed. When he slid his hand over the curve of her back, she sunk her fingers into his hair and pressed herself impatiently closer.

He pressed some of his weight onto her, urging her down - a mistake. She sighed, then resisted and somehow once again had him on his back, all without breaking the kiss. She lingered for one more moment, then pushed herself up, holding Dimitri down by his shoulders.

"Dimitri, no," she breathed through reddened lips. "You're not well enough. I could hurt you."

"You could destroy me," he said, then felt his face burn at the audacity of it.

Byleth chuckled and ducked her head. "For now, let's see if that bottle is still drinkable."

They had a lunch of more jam and hot water, with careful sips of what turned out to be a somewhat flat mead. Even Dimitri felt sick of the jam by then.

"Rest," Byleth commanded afterward.

Dimitri caught her hand. "I will try, if you'll join me."

She allowed him to pull her down. "Be good, now."

"Of course," he promised, then broke it immediately. He rolled into her once he had her by his side. Byleth huffed in disapproval, but met him halfway. He acquiesced to her request to rest eventually, but kept stealing kisses and retightening the arms around Byleth between moments of dozing.

He didn't dream. When voices carried to him from afar, he knew them to be real: a rescue at last. When Byleth untangled herself from his arms to call back at them, Dimitri felt stupidly disappointed.


End file.
